CONTROLLED INSANITY

Chuck Norris – the all time bad Ass – some interesting facts

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

Chuck Norris once bowled a 300. Without a ball. He wasn’t even in a bowling alley.

Brett Favre can throw a football over 50 yards. Chuck Norris can throw Brett Favre even further.

Champions are the breakfast of Chuck Norris.

Chuck Norris can make a paraplegic run for his life.

There are no such things as shooting stars. The bright streaking objects you see at night are the bodies of Chuck Norris’ roundhouse kick victims as they re-enter the atmosphere.

Chuck Norris once had a heart attack; his heart lost.

Chuck Norris is not hung like a horse… horses are hung like Chuck Norris

Chuck Norris’ dog is trained to pick up his own poop because Chuck Norris will not take shit from anyone.

Chuck Norris can slam revolving doors.

Chuck Norris can have both feet on the ground and kick ass at the same time.

Chuck Norris died ten years ago, but the Grim Reaper can’t get up the courage to tell him.

Chuck Norris can do a wheelie on a unicycle.

When the Boogeyman goes to sleep every night he checks his closet for Chuck Norris.

In his will, Chuck Norris has specified that if he dies, he will bury himself.

Chuck Norris puts the “laughter” in “manslaughter”.

Chuck Norris counted to infinity – twice.

Death once had a near-Chuck-Norris experience.

Superman owns a pair of Chuck Norris pajamas.

Chuck Norris doesn’t have hair on his testicles, because hair does not grow on steel.

Chuck Norris can strangle you with a cordless phone.

Chuck Norris was once charged with three attempted murdered in Boulder County, but the Judge quickly dropped the charges because Chuck Norris does not “attempt” murder.

M.C. Hammer learned the hard way that Chuck Norris can touch this.

Chuck Norris can build a snowman out of rain.

Chuck Norris doesn’t need a miracle in order to split the ocean. He just walks in and the water gets the fuck out of the way.

Chuck Norris is the only person that can punch a cyclops between the eye.

The quickest way to a man’s heart is with Chuck Norris’s fist.

Chuck Norris can tie his shoes with his feet.

Chuck Norris used to beat the shit out of his shadow because it was following to close. It now stands a safe 30 feet behind him.

Chuck Norris Buys all his cloths at Fashion Felons because He's a bad Ass
____________________________________________________________________
Your Chuck Norris Facts You lived through - Send Us Yours